


this thrumming is louder

by gagreflex



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Implied Past Homophobia, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, a lot of mentions about hearts, barista jaehyun, director johnny, trying to find inspiration, wtf do i tag this, yuta is only here for 3 seconds i am sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:40:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25862209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gagreflex/pseuds/gagreflex
Summary: For the first time, Johnny doesn’t have any ideas. Deciding to take a chance, he spends a week-long vacation in a city that is only bustling during the night.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 5
Kudos: 45





	this thrumming is louder

**Author's Note:**

> it isn't mentioned but johnjae are in their late 20's/early 30's.

Johnny sighs as he sets down his suitcase and opens up the trunk of his sedan. There’s a few folders and discarded papers that he forgot to take out. As Johnny lifts up the suitcase and pushes it inside, he promises himself to clean out his car when he gets back home. 

Once the suitcase is situated inside of the car nicely, Johnny pats around it, making sure that none of the zippers are pulled open. There’s only enough clothes inside to last Johnny a week, and hopefully that is all he is going to need. Johnny steps back and closes the trunk of his car, everything ready to go. 

Light flickering catches Johnny’s attention, although it is only Yuta leaning against the driver’s door, debating whether he should light his cigarette or not. Yuta looks up from his lighter. “What are you gonna do if you don’t get a little rainfall? This drought has been going on for long enough.”

“Can you speak literally?” Johnny pulls his keys out of his pocket, but Yuta doesn’t move. He looks back at his small house, hoping Yuta doesn’t set it on fire while he is gone. “This place has a lot of things going on at once, I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to come up with something.”

Yuta lights his cigarette and finally steps away from Johnny’s car, allowing him to get inside. “Well, if you don’t get any good movie ideas, at least you’ll be somewhere that is fun.” With a wave, Yuta heads up the cracked cobblestone steps leading to Johnny’s front door. 

Turning on the air conditioner and the radio, Johnny mentally prepares himself for the three hour drive down to the coastside city of Amare. He hopes there’ll be some sunlight still out by the time he gets there, not wanting to get whisked away into the nightlife immediately. Johnny turns up the rock music before he starts driving, just wanting to get out of his rut.

Johnny always comes up with new ideas each time he travels. Each city he has ever been to has its own style and atmosphere. The small things he witnesses, such as how the line in an ice cream parlor is longer than the line in a grocery store on a particular day, can give him the beginnings of an idea, and if he lingers on it long enough, more often than not, it becomes something bigger, something that he, the producers, and the screenwriters can work with. Even when driving between destinations, he’ll end up thinking about something.

As Johnny drives on the highway, the radio almost loud enough to vibrate off of his skin, nothing comes to mind. When he stops at a gas station and fiddles with his card, the cashier looking at him weirdly, there is still nothing. Johnny wonders if this is what a burnout is. New ideas have always been leaving his head and landing on paper ever since he was able to write. 

Just after he got his big break too. Things are finally looking up, and Johnny had hoped to ride on his latest success, but now he feels like he’ll end up needing to return to Yuta’s construction company.

The sun is barely still out when Johnny arrives at Amare. The sky is beginning to get dark, and all of the colorful lights lining the tall buildings are just turning on. Traffic is heavy, and Johnny notices license plates from across the country. The city is a hotspot for everything relating to partying and forgetting about stress. 

Even the parking lot of the hotel that Johnny is staying at is busy. Cars are trying to find a place to park, and people are speed walking, trying to avoid getting hit while taking the fastest route to the streets. However, when Johnny does manage to find a place to park and enters the hotel, the lobby isn’t as busy. 

His hotel room isn’t that large, only enough space for one person, but he doesn’t care, knowing he won’t be spending most of his week inside. Johnny steps out onto the small balcony, able to see the bustling streets as people head to clubs, bars, and pubs. He has been to large cities before and has gotten lost in the current of people, but this feels different as a few people have a bounce in their step, their hands held high.

As Johnny leaves his hotel room, he gets a text from Yuta asking if he has arrived yet along with a picture of his dog sleeping. Johnny answers him right away before pocketing his phone, wanting to get immersed in the nightlife.

Most of the people Johnny passes by are with friends, trying to decide where to go first. Johnny looked up the businesses in Amare this morning, but right now, as he walks with the flow of people, he doesn’t remember a single name. His feet carry themselves, and he ends up standing in front of a club with neon pink lights, coercing him to head inside and get a free beer with each third drink he orders. A few people brush past Johnny, and he ends up entering the place.

The music is loud enough to the point where it beats inside of his chest. People dance around him, either trying to reach the bar and order a few drinks or head out onto the dancefloor. Nobody seems to have a single care about what is happening around them, just trying to let the music flow inside of their veins. Admittedly, Johnny finds it hard to just let himself go, his eyes roaming over the place as he steps around people. 

People hold their drinks in the air as they shout along to the lyrics, and a few people pull Johnny into a half-hearted dance. It’s hard for him to hear what they are saying, and they usually move to someone else after a few steps. Deciding he might need a drink in order to wind down, Johnny begins to walk through the crowd, trying to find his way out. 

The bar is mostly empty. There’s only one other person sitting at one of the stools, a man that doesn’t seem much younger than Johnny. He’s already staring up at him as he swirls around a glass of whiskey. Johnny keeps some distance between them, wondering if this whole trip is going to end up being a bust. 

“What can I get you?” the bartender asks as he flattens his apron. 

“Just a beer,” Johnny says, not aiming to get entirely plastered. He isn’t in college anymore, those years a distant memory now. The bartender simply hums before grabbing a bottle, popping it open, and sliding it to Johnny. It’s cold to the touch, which brings relief after he has been surrounded by warm people. Before he takes a sip, Johnny glances to his right, the man still staring at him. Upon being caught, he hurriedly looks towards the crowd and taps his whiskey glass incessantly, his ears burning cherry. 

With a hum, Johnny sets the bottle down. “Like what you see?” Somehow, his voice carries over the music. The man openly checks out Johnny, and he tries to remember the last time he flirted with someone, much less felt weightless. 

“Kinda,” he hums, grinning. Johnny supposes it must’ve been back in his college days as he turns towards the man, opening himself up. 

“Only kinda?” He feigns hurt, and the man takes the opening, sliding his whiskey glass down the counter before moving over a few stools. For the first time since arriving at Amare, Johnny doesn’t try thinking of any new ideas. He just lets himself exist in the moment. 

“Jaehyun,” he introduces as he sticks out his hand, and Johnny finds it a little too formal for their location, but he doesn’t care much. He reciprocates the handshake, surprised at how smooth it feels. The lights on the dancefloor begin changing colors as the music changes into a more upbeat song. 

“Johnny,” he replies, pulling his hand away. “You here for a vacation too?” Johnny turns his back to the other people as he takes a swig of his beer, Jaehyun watching him with more of a curious gaze than anything. 

“No, I live here. Before it became such a party city,” Jaehyun answers, his tapping against the whiskey glass returning. “I’m guessing you didn’t come down here to party though.” Johnny smiles behind the bottle.

“I came here for some inspiration. Sort of as a last-ditch effort.” Jaehyun leans closer to him, but Johnny doesn’t mind.

“Inspiration?” Jaehyun hums, resting his chin on his hand. “Are you an author?” 

“I work with movies.” Johnny finishes the rest of his beer, and Jaehyun has long abandoned whatever whiskey he has left. Jaehyun grins at him, and it’s hard for Johnny to ignore the beating inside of his ears.

“Maybe I’ll be your inspiration.” The song fades into a new one, and Jaehyun gets to his feet, hand extended. “Wanna dance?” Johnny grabs his hand without a second thought and gets pulled onto the dancefloor, the two pushing their way between people. 

The music thrums inside of his heart, and there’s never a moment where Jaehyun isn’t smiling, his body moving to the beat. The heat from the other people doesn’t bother Johnny this time, only able to give his attention to the man before him. It really has been a long time.

Something akin to bliss bounces beneath his skin as the lights flash over Jaehyun, and Johnny doesn’t remember when the two got so close, but he couldn’t care less. A few steps forward and he swears he will be able to feel Jaehyun’s heart beat against his. The song slows down, and so do their movements. 

Tentatively, Johnny raises his hand, and Jaehyun doesn’t move away. All of the sounds and the people around them blur into the background as Johnny cups the side of Jaehyun’s face, unable to believe that what he is feeling beneath his fingers is real. Jaehyun holds onto Johnny’s hand, keeping it in its place. He wants to leave this club and finally let all of his muscles unwind.

“Do you want to go somewhere?” Johnny asks, but some sense of realization dawns on Jaehyun’s face as he steps away from Johnny’s touch. 

“I don’t know.” His smile is warm despite the uncertainty in his voice. The shaking bass returns, and Jaehyun ends up disappearing amongst the people. As much as he wants to find Jaehyun again, he doesn’t want to pressure him into anything. It’s hard to leave the club, but the cold night air is a refreshing feeling.

Johnny wakes up with the sunrise. His joints pop as he hobbles around his hotel room, shrugging on a jacket, eager to see the city in the daytime. Peering out of the balcony, the streets seem desolate compared to last night. It’s almost like everyone who is staying here just disappeared randomly. 

The hotel offers breakfast, and there are a few people eating, clearly hungover, but he wants to experience one of the diners. The wind is chilly, and Johnny shrugs his shoulders, bringing his jacket closer to his neck. There aren’t any flashing lights, and the city doesn’t even look that special. Most of the diners and restaurants are closed, only being open at night. The first place that Johnny finds open is a coffee shop, small and tucked away between two apartments. He nearly walked past it.

A bell chimes when he opens the door, and there is nobody inside apart from the barista, his back turned at first. He immediately turns around, and Johnny didn’t think he would see Jaehyun again. 

“Fancy seeing you here,” Jaehyun greets as he leans against the counter, brow quirked. “What can I get you?” The jitters return, and Johnny wonders if he will also see Jaehyun again tonight. He can still feel the burn of his skin against his fingertips.

“Ice Americano please.” There’s some soft piano music playing inside of the coffee shop. With the small size and the pastel colors, it feels cozy. Jaehyun hands him his drink with a grin, and Johnny contemplates staying, and maybe the two could talk some more. However, a small group of friends head inside, and Johnny leaves.

On the side of the cup is his name, followed by a winky face. Beneath it is the name of a bar, 2nite, and a question mark. Johnny bites the straw of his drink, not once thinking that someone could capture all of his attention so effortlessly.

The bar is busy, a sea of people trying to push their way inside. The dazzling lights strung around the building are blinking rapidly, to the point where Johnny’s eyes hurt if he stares for a few seconds too long. Thankfully, Johnny doesn’t go into the bar, spotting Jaehyun standing outside of it, scrolling through his phone. 

“Hey, I didn’t know if you would actually come.” Jaehyun pockets his phone, looking up and spotting Johnny before he can say something. “I don’t know if you wanna actually have something to drink or not.”

“We aren’t going into the bar?” Johnny questions as they begin walking along the sidewalk, the people gradually thinning. In honesty, he doesn’t care where they end up. The lights never bend away from Jaehyun, just as how Johnny’s heart struggles to keep to itself. He decides that maybe settling down with someone isn’t that bad of an idea anymore.

“I want to show you this place, unless you’ve already seen everything.” A truck passes by them, people sitting in the back, shouting a garbled mess of phrases. Johnny shakes his head, and Jaehyun pulls him along. 

It’s strange how lively Amare is now, compared to earlier in the day. Johnny doesn’t understand how a city like this one can exist, almost like it is straight from some bizarre dream he had when he was a teenager.

They end up on the coast, the ocean waves blending in with the horizon. Johnny sits at the end of a dock, feeling the seabreeze ruffle his hair. Jaehyun is sitting beside him, their arms brushing as his feet dangle over the water, the waves almost hitting his shoes. 

“You must’ve had a lot of opportunities growing up, huh?” Jaehyun leans back on his hands, head tilted towards the moon. The water laps slowly beneath them, and something about this makes Johnny’s lungs stutter for a breath.

“Yeah. My parents really had a lot of connections with people. Hardly any wanted to give me the time of day though.” Being raised in a populous city does have its benefits, and also having parents who are well-known in the movie industry. However, he ended up finding success without their help. “Where were you from?”

“Middle of nowhere,” Jaehyun chuckles, running one of his hands down his thigh. “My parents owned a farm. My whole life was planned by them the moment I was born. I’d find some rural girl, get married to her, and then take over the farm. Look at me now.”

“Are you happy?” Johnny ends up asking, trying to see the barely visible stars in the sky. He wonders how long it’ll take for them to be erased into darkness. Jaehyun stares at Johnny.

“Right now, yeah. I feel I could be happier though.”

His notebook has remained inside of his suitcase, untouched so far. There hasn’t been anything worthy of writing down, but at least there has been something. He spends his third night in Amare at a pub with Jaehyun, the two clanking their beer glasses together before seeing who can chug the longest.

The jukebox’s music cuts out every-so-often, and the people sitting behind them keep complaining about it to the waiters. Alcohol is getting traded between tables, and the TVs, playing past sports games, are out of sync, but most of the customers don’t care for the sports, shouting loudly when one of them suddenly jumps forward in the footage. Even with all of the sounds and people, Johnny listens intently to Jaehyun as he talks about when he first moved here, freshly graduated from high school, having just stolen some of his parents’ money, and hitchhiked hundreds of miles. 

“The city was always quiet. It was quite peaceful.” Jaehyun steals one of Johnny’s fries, but he isn’t hungry anymore. He nudges his plate closer to Jaehyun, and he pulls it towards him. “There weren’t as many lights, or buildings. You could still see the stars somewhat. I miss it, but I do enjoy how busy the city gets.” Jaehyun looks over at all of the other customers.

“How did it all even start?” His beer is warm now. 

“Some people came by and started to build a nightclub. I thought it was going to go out of business soon, since not a lot of people here were into that stuff anyway. I guess they knew a lot of people, because we started getting people from out of town driving by to visit the spot. Then, it just grew.” Jaehyun brushes his hands together, wiping the salt off of his fingers. “Not like I can complain.”

They leave the pub and wander the streets together, Johnny trying to know this place like the back of his hand. A few people hurry by them, and the two stop in front of an older man playing guitar, his hat in front of him, filled with cash. His wrinkled fingers strum the chords, and he manages to capture the attention of a few other passerbys. 

Jaehyun sways to the music as a light drizzle falls from the sky. The man keeps playing, and Jaehyun smiles up at Johnny, their shoulders pushed together. 

“I want to show you something tomorrow night.” No matter what it is that Jaehyun wants to show him, Johnny wants to see it.

By the beach is a small house. A few lights leading up to it are turned on, guiding Johnny through the darkness. The bright lights of the city are long behind them, and with the odd quietness, he is able to hear the waves crashing on the shore. Jaehyun gets out of the car first, his keys swinging around his fingers.

Even with all of Jaehyun’s talk about how much he enjoys the busy life of the city, he still lives out here, alone. It is beautiful, and perhaps that is just enough. 

Jaehyun’s house has enough room to fit himself comfortably, and Johnny ends up standing by the large windows facing the ocean. One of them is opened, allowing the cool breeze inside. He turns to face Jaehyun, realizing that there isn’t that much time left. He could always extend his stay, but he knows his coworkers will get frustrated with him, and perhaps they’ll just drop him altogether. 

“It’s nice. Cozy, and has quiet the beautiful scenery.” Johnny leans against the counter, watching as Jaehyun keeps combing his hand through his hair. It’s only been four days, but he’s never needed a long time to warm up to people. “What’s up?” Jaehyun’s hand falls from his hair as he steps away from the fridge.

“It’s just…” Jaehyun’s eyes roam over Johnny’s face, and he knows what he wants, “I sort of… want to kiss you right now.”

“What if I said the same?” Johnny takes a small step forward, and Jaehyun grabs his arm, his hand burning, and pulls him closer. The blinds by the windows thud loudly with the wind as Johnny gives him what he wants. 

Jaehyun’s lips taste like cherries, and the two move slowly, Johnny going at the pace that Jaehyun sets up. His fingers slide up Johnny’s arm, his back, his neck, before curling slightly into his skin. Johnny’s heart beats for Jaehyun beyond their physical touch, but he’s willing to give him whatever he wants.

His hand slides down Jaehyun’s side, and he feels Jaehyun’s hand drop down to his back. Slowly, his fingers find their way beneath Jaehyun’s shirt, feeling the smooth skin of his hip. The sound of the ocean waves returns as Jaehyun’s breath hitches, and he pulls back. There’s uncertainty, reminding Johnny of his first night here. Jaehyun’s hand slides down from Johnny’s back and grabs onto his wrist.

“I’m sorry,” Jaehyun whispers, shaking his head, “it’s just… I’ve never done something like this before. I’ve never tried until now.” There’s a beat of silence as Jaehyun turns his head away. “I have no idea what I’m doing.”

Johnny tries to understand as he holds Jaehyun’s hand instead, and Jaehyun lets him. He’s always been free to express himself, never given expectations to live by. Johnny runs his thumb over Jaehyun’s knuckles, able to see his shoulders relax.

“If you ever want, I can show you.” There’s a low hum from Jaehyun’s chest as he looks up at Johnny. 

“Can we not go any farther than this tonight?” Jaehyun places Johnny’s hand back on his side, and he curls his fingers back into Johnny’s neck. Johnny nods, and for the first time he feels the heavy thrumming of someone that isn’t him.

A few birds flap around the sidewalk, eagerly eating at the birdfeed that Johnny tossed to the ground. The sun is just starting to set, although the park never gets full, whether it is the day or night. Jaehyun tilts his head back with a sigh, the coffee shop particularly busy today. 

It’s peaceful, and Johnny watches all of the lights in the city gradually turn on, flashing brightly and trying to attract attention to the building they are attached to. The birds caw loudly, and Jaehyun throws more birdseed for them. 

“Have you thought of any ideas yet?” Jaehyun looks over at Johnny as he shrugs his hoodie off, the air humid tonight. In truth, Johnny hasn’t been thinking much about that, just trying to enjoy his time in Amare. He kicks his legs out, but the birds don’t even budge, ignoring the two completely until they want more food.

“Not really, but I’m not too worried about it.” He can barely believe a few days ago he was worrying that his career would be over and done with. “I just want to enjoy this city.” He glances over at Jaehyun, and he’s watching him intently.

“Fair,” Jaehyun hums as he leans back into the bench, the birds finally flying away. “There’s just something about this place that catches all of your attention.” Johnny digs his hands into his pocket, the city not being his primary focus. “It’s almost like this place isn’t real.”

“That’s what I was thinking when I first arrived,” Johnny chuckles, hearing cars speed down the street behind them. “I wish I could’ve seen it before it was like this though.”

“Boring?” Jaehyun hums. “I like it how it is now. I’ve always wanted to live somewhere where people could see me on the street, or at work, or anywhere, and not remember me.” Jaehyun glances at Johnny. “Although I suppose it isn’t all that bad.” Johnny can’t help his smile.

They leave the park and end up at one of the nightclubs. They dance together amongst the sea of people, and the night fades away.

Jaehyun’s bedroom is just big enough for the two of them. Posters of obscure bands fill the coral-colored walls, there’s a violet lava lamp on his nightstand, and a minifridge that has nothing but beer and vodka inside. There’s a TV in front of his bed, and the two hurriedly settle down, Jaehyun finding the remote.

The movie they choose goes from being too loud to too quiet, and they end up turning on the subtitles and keeping the volume relatively low. Johnny doesn’t pay much attention to the movie, acutely aware of Jaehyun’s warmth, the two cuddling. Granted, there isn’t much space on the bed in the first place. Jaehyun isn’t that interested in the movie either, looking at Johnny more than the screen. 

Their legs get untangled, and the two sit up, Johnny resting his hand on Jaehyun’s thigh as he leans forward. Jaehyun manages to turn the volume down all the way before the remote gets discarded on the floor. A deep sigh of relief escapes Jaehyun as Johnny trails feathery kisses down his jaw and to his neck. He feels Jaehyun’s hand slip beneath his shirt, his skin shivering beneath each delicate touch. Jaehyun pulls Johnny into another kiss.

His hand slowly slides up Jaehyun’s thigh, careful. Jaehyun’s hands fidget against Johnny’s arm. He pulls back slightly, their foreheads almost touching. “We’ll only go as far as you want,” Johnny breathes out.

“Okay… okay… thank you,” Jaehyun murmurs, and Johnny swears he sees the stars come to life. He moves his hand back down Jaehyun’s thigh, but Jaehyun grabs his wrist, pulling his hand closer to the waistband of his sweatpants. “With you I want to try.”

Johnny places more feathery kisses down Jaehyun’s neck, although this time there is more bite. Jaehyun tightens his grip on Johnny’s arm and asks him to keep going and going until Johnny is drowning inside of him.

His last night in Amare isn’t filled with flashing lights or drinks. Johnny is sitting on the beach with Jaehyun, the water almost reaching their feet. A few people are partying some yards away, their music barely louder than the waves. They dance in the distance, and some of them are on the water, nearly floating away. 

Jaehyun lies beside Johnny, fingers playing with his. They don’t talk about tomorrow, granted it doesn’t mean much. They can still talk, the two exchanging numbers a few nights ago. He hopes the physical distance doesn’t amount to anything.

“You’re staying the night, right?” Jaehyun asks, and Johnny nods, having checked out of the hotel early. “Good. I have some ice cream that is about to expire and I really don’t want to finish it off alone.” Johnny chuckles and rolls his eyes.

“Wow, that’s the only reason you want me to come over? I’m offended.” He leans over Jaehyun slightly, and his grin is borderline shit-eating.

“Sorry, it’s all I need you for.” Slowly, Jaehyun’s fingers trail down Johnny’s hand, arm, and up his neck, cupping his face slightly. Johnny’s hand wraps around Jaehyun’s, not wanting him to move it. However, Jaehyun drags Johnny’s hand down to his chest, letting him feel his heartbeat. He’s already felt and heard it more times than he can count just within the past two days, but it always tells him all he needs to know.

“I love you,” Johnny says for the first time, and he’s glad it is Jaehyun who is the one that hears it.

Jaehyun leans against the driver’s door, the sun barely above the horizon. Everything is packed, and Johnny is already getting calls from his coworkers and Yuta, asking when he will be back. The air is hot, and Johnny’s air conditioner barely keeps him cool.

“By the time you get home, you’ll be thinking of something.” Jaehyun glances at the steering wheel. “Everything usually works out in the end. I just wish you could’ve stayed longer.”

“Do you not think we’ll see one another again?” Johnny muses, and Jaehyun only smiles. “Would you ever leave Amare?” If anything, Jaehyun’s smile only gets wider.

Johnny finds himself on the road again, Amare fading behind him as his radio crackles, trying to find a station that it can connect to properly. A hundred half-formed ideas float around inside of his head, needing to be written down if they want to be developed more. There’s one idea, though, that works on itself as Johnny drives.

He can’t believe that Jaehyun was right the first night.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading !


End file.
